


Chains

by LitsyKalyptica



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Hurt/Comfort, Immortality, M/M, Medical Torture, Mortality, Recovery, The Author Regrets Nothing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-23
Updated: 2017-02-25
Packaged: 2018-09-26 13:02:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9898199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LitsyKalyptica/pseuds/LitsyKalyptica
Summary: Lovino in the aftermath of four months of brutal torture.Adapted from a roleplay with flamingbluepanda on tumblr.





	1. Chapter 1

Antonio arrived outside the inconspicuous building in a police car, but refused to look. After a moment, when the passenger was about to get out of the car, he spoke for the first time in three hours. “Let me go in first.” The chains rattled on his wrist. “Please. He’s gotta be so scared.”

 

The two officers still didn’t believe him about this, but their chief had been more sympathetic, and gave the Nation this one chance to prove what was going on. One sighed and let Antonio out, helping him out by the handcuffs. “You’ve got five minutes.”

 

He nodded, grateful for this opportunity. The front door was open. He walked in calmly, unafraid.

 

There was nothing unusual about the main rooms aside from their dusty barrenness. It looked as though no one had been there in years. A sudden pang of doubt in Antonio’s chest made itself known. Was this the wrong building? Had the sick bastard lied to him with his last bloody breath? One wrong address would condemn him to three months in prison, and Lovino would be dead by then.

 

“Lovi?”

 

* * *

 

Downstairs, a limp body twitched against the wall. He slowly woke up with a pathetic groan. Had they come back? Lovino was starting to believe that his tormentors had abandoned him. He was ready to suffer months of starvation, maybe years: it had to be better than these last sixteen weeks.

 

“Lovi? Are you here?”

 

He flinched. The masked sadists spoke English and only English, and knowing this gave him some small glimmer of hope now. “Hello?” he called out, voice cracking and barely audible. Seven weeks. He hadn’t had any cause to speak for seven weeks. “H-Hello?” he tried again.

 

He thought for a moment he was dreaming. The door, sounding like it was kicked open, slid aside to white light, and for a moment Lovino thought he maybe had finally died.

 

But the light faded away, and primal fear set in. He flinched away from the silhouette in the doorway. “Please… no more…”

 

“Lovi... Lovi can you hear me?” It looked so much like Antonio, sixteen weeks too late to save him.

 

He stared, convince this was actually a dream, or a hallucination. The drugs may not have worn off after all. “No… No, you’re not real!”

 

Antonio crouched in front of him. He almost couldn’t see him through the matted hair. “I’m real. I’m here.

 

“No… No…” He couldn’t look the figure in the eye.

 

“I’m right here.” He cupped his face gently, upset but not surprised when Lovino jerked his head back, hitting against the stone wall.

 

“Please… Please don’t do this to me…” As if the physical and psychological torture wasn’t enough, now they were trying to break him emotionally too.

 

“What do you think I’m doing to you?”

 

“You- You wanna break me!” He wasn’t sure he could be broken further. There was nothing left.

 

Antonio swallowed hard, bile running down his throat. “I’d never try and break you, darling.”

 

“You would! That- That’s all you’ve been doing!”

 

“I’m not one of them though. Im Antonio. I’m your Antonio.” 

 

“You’re not really him, you’re not really here…”

 

“What can I do to prove to you it’s really me, that I’m really here?”

 

Lovino flinched, his voice becoming more familiar and heartbreaking. “You aren’t! If… If you were you’d get me out of here!”

 

Antonio smiled softly and touched Lovino’s hair gently. The back of his head was sticky with dried blood. “I am here to get you out of here.”

 

He stared at him for a moment, but still couldn’t meet his eyes. Whether or not he believed Antonio was really there, when would he ever get this chance again? “Please…”

 

Antonio, grateful to have been given the go ahead, started working at the bolts on the wall. The chains were rusty and Lovino’s wrists were raw and bloody. Antonio felt sick finding how Lovino wasn’t healing properly in here, or otherwise had been hurt so badly that it was taking more time. He knew the abductors hadn’t been down here since the previous night, at least. He pried the chains off its strained bolts. Lovino, unable to support himself, crumpled to the ground.

 

Antonio dropped to his knees and, struggling, started to help Lovino up off the ground. Beyond the door of this prison he could hear the officers coming in. Lovino tensed up as they entered, but Antonio hushed him gently. “I’m right here, my love. You’re going to come home now.” He heard Lovino sob at that. “You’re gonna be just fine.” 

 

Lovino’s captors had relished his tears, and so he’d work to stop the tears whenever they threatened to spill. Despite everything, he wouldn’t give them the satisfaction of seeing him break. But emotions flooded over, and he couldn’t hold himself back any longer. Antonio held him, letting him cry.

 

“They… They hurt me, Toni…”

 

“I know.” He said “I know, love. I know.”

 

“I-I-… I can’t walk…”

 

“You don’t need to.”

 

The more skeptical officer, bound to the deal they’d made, uncuffed Antonio. Antonio wanted to just hold Lovino to his chest and never let go again, but he needed to get his fiance out of there as soon as possible. He scooped him up, startled by how easy it was, and carried him out to the waiting ambulance.

 

Lovino pressed his face into Antonio’s shoulder and tried not to cry out in pain. It was unfairly sunny outside, and the light alone overwhelmed him. He shook violently in Antonio’s arms as he started to fade out again.

  
“Lovi? You’re gonna be alright…”


	2. Chapter 2

The hospital room seemed unnaturally bright by comparison. Fear kept Lovino unconscious through most of the examinations, the situation too reminiscent of his time strapped to tables, poked, prodded, sliced open to see what was inside. He'd been paralyzed then, able to feel everything but unable to do anything about it, even die to escape the agony.

The doctors wouldn't tell Antonio what had happened to him: apparently being engaged to the survivor wasn't enough to get details. But he was allowed to wait in a chair next to the bed, loosely holding his hand through a curtain. He prayed for his fiance's safety, though he was pretty sure God didn't want to hear him anymore.

About three hours later the two of them were left alone in the room, all silent except for the beeping and whirring of various machines. Bored and worried, head still spinning after the climactic last twenty-four hours, Antonio gently poked at the oxygen mask over Lovino's face, and silently begged him to wake up.

His pleas proved fruitful a few more hours later. Lovino, groggy and trembling again as he woke up, stared blankly at the room around him. There was light, and that was enough to prove to him that his body had been delivered from Hell. "T-Toni…?" He wasn't used to not being in pain anymore, but given how fuzzy everything was now, he could only imagine they'd put him on very strong painkillers. "What… What happened…?"

"You're safe now, safe and coming home as soon as your well." Lovino noticed a few gray hairs and dark spots around his fiance's eyes. He'd look young and carefree when the stress wore off.

"I… I'm really not gonna be worth it, Toni… I-I'm sorry…"

"You're always worth it, my love. Always and forever, remember." He kissed the finger from which they'd taken Lovino's engagement ring very early on.

"Toni…" He almost broke down then, terrified of what his Antonio thought when he'd seen the ring was missing. "I-I'm sorry it's gone… So sorry.. I'm really not worth it. I'm- I'm not–…"

"Shh…" He said. He reached around his neck and pulled of a necklace. There, on a piece of twine, was the ring. "They sent this to me. They… did that. Occasionally. Sent me… Images. Video. Pieces of your hair and…" He shook his head, feeling nauseous. His eyes darkened for a moment, then he shook his head and sighed, looking up at him again.

The flourescent light of the hospital room glimmered on the humble ring, and Lovino broke down.

Antonio gently wiped his tears , trying his best to comfort him through it. He honestly couldn't imagine what Lovino had been though, so he didn't try to tell him it would be okay, but made sure his fiance knew he was there for him.

It took a long time for him to calm down. "What… What'd they do while- while I was out…?"

Antonio sighed and picked at the sheet. "Stitched you up and took some x-rays. They had to knock you out more throughly to break and reset your wrist -apparently it healed wrong." He touched the splint on Lovino's left arm. "They tested for evidence of sexual assault-"

"They didn't do that," he was quick to assure. "They… They didn't do anything like that to me. A-All of it was physical and psychological or emotional t-torture… medical torture..." He shuddered and sighed shakily.

Antonio winced in sympathy. He took the ring off from around his neck. "Do you want me to put this back on you?"

Lovino swallowed hard. "I… I don't know. I-I'm not the same man you asked to marry you."

Antonio scooted a bit closer. "I'm staying right here, by your side. Right where I belong until such a time when you should send me away. Even if you don't want to get married anymore, nothing's gonna stop me from loving you."

He sobbed weakly. "I-I… Okay. I-I'd like my ring back…" He was so, so lucky to have someone like Antonio. "… H-How long was I gone for, Toni…?'

He took your good hand and pressed it to his lips "16 weeks, 2 days, an hour and 13 minutes. I counted." He slid the ring back onto the same finger it had been on before intertwining his fingers with Lovino's. "Right where it belongs." Whether he was referring to the ring or his hand Lovino didn't know.

"You… You searched for me all that time?" He could hardly believe Antonio wouldn't just believe him to be dead after just a few weeks. Then again, his tormentors had apparently been sending him… mementos…

"Every single hour I was looking for you," he said, kissing his hand again. "Even when I was at home I'd be looking around the house, thinking it was a dream, and I'd see you cooking or sleeping or painting or dancing…" He kept kissing his fingers. "I couldn't sleep in our bed. I've been sleeping on the couch for months."

"I-… I'm so sorry, Toni. So sorry you had to go through all that.." Maybe Antonio would've been better off if he could've just moved on. Then he wouldn't have had to be so miserable for so long.

He held your hand "The cats miss you. Dora especially."

Lovino knew he'd feel somewhat better holding his little Dora again. It had always worked in the past. "I miss her. I miss all of them."

"And Toma had kittens."

He almost smiled. "I'm… I'm tired, Antonio…"

He held his hand gently still. "I know. You can go back to sleep."

Lovino winced a little as his eyelids grew heavy. "Promise me I'll wake up?"

"I promise."

Going on Antonio's word, he let himself fade out again.

* * *

 

Antonio was asleep when Lovino woke up again, but with a gentle squeeze of his hand he started to wake.

Lovino attempted a smile for him. "Sleep well?"

"Uh huh." He yawned, and looked at the clock, and then Lovino. "You slept another 18 hours, which is good. I got to go back to the hotel for a bit to feed the cats."

"I'm glad you slept.."

He pulled out his phone. "I took a video of them. Wanna see it?"

"Mm. Okay."

He played it for him. It started out with Captain, curled on the floor. "Hey, Captain." Antonio said "Hey. Wake up. Say hi to daddy." The black cat sprung up inmediately, mewing. "He's not here. But he will be soon!" Captain mewed again. At that moment, a little black and white kitten followed by an even smaller calico kitten came in. They were playing with each other, rolling around. "Oh hello babies!" Antonio crouched down. "Look at you two. First day away from mama and here you are. I can't wait till you meet Lovi, he's gonna love you two. We can finally name you as well." He petted the black and white one behind the ears. Toma came in then, still a bit chubby from pregnancy. "Morning, sweetie." Antonio said, stroking her. A timer dinged behind him, and the camera turned. "Ah- that's breakfast. Don't worry, soon you all get your daddy's meals again." Toma and Captain mewed happily, and the kittens looked up at the camera. The tiny calico one let out the cutest little mew and Antonio cooed. Then the video ended.

Lovino stared at the screen a minute after it was over. "Where… Where's Dora?"

"She's, uh, she's been pretty unhappy since you disappeared. She hides a lot, barely eats…" He frowned and stuffed his phone back into his pocket. He attempted a big, reassuring smile. "But I'm sure everything will be better when she sees you!"

He nodded slowly, and remembered that the world was bigger than just them two. "How… How's everything and everyone else..?"

"Your brother is on his way. He desperately wants to see you." He smiled "other than Dora, everything is fine. Really."

Feliciano wanted to see him, and honestly, Lovino wanted to see him, too. "I-…" He cut himself off, and kept a tighter hold on Antonio's hand. "Did you-.. Does he know what happened..?"

"Not yet." He sighed. "Do you want me to tell him or…?"

"I-I-…" He swallowed hard. "I don't know what it is you know…"

Antonio steeled himself, hoping that talking about it so soon wouldn't put his beloved in a worse place than he already was. He struggled to keep his voice steady and his eyes dry. "They tortured you emotionally, mentally, and physically," he said softly, "and kept you locked away. Because of this, the doctors say you probably will have major PTSD, to the point where you might not be able to live alone ever again." He glanced up at his fiance.

Lovino looked more lost than anything, like he was trying to separate himself from what happened to him. "I… I'd believe that." He swallowed the lump in his throat. "What else..?"

"That's… really all I know."

"They didn't… tell you any results from..?"

"They wouldn't tell me. They said because we're not married and not related the information couldn't be released to me."

"I…" He swallowed again, blinking back tears. "I could if you want.."

"What do you mean?"

"I can tell you if you want.."

His eyes softened "I won't say I'm not curious. But you don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"I… I-I want you to be able to know, b-but I don't know if I c-can right now…"

"Okay." He said. "That's fine."

"I-I'm sorry.."

"Don't be." He shrugged "there are things that happened to me a hundred years ago that I'm still not ready to talk about."

"I-I know… I-I'm sorry, Toni.."

"For what?" He asked

"For everything I put you through…"

"You didn't do anything. The people who kidnapped you did all the work."

"I-I'm sorry.."

"For what?" He asked again, kissing your palm "you didn't do anything wrong Lovi. You survived- you did the right thing by surviving."

"I…"

He kissed his hand.

"Where- Where's Feli now?"

"On his way."

"Did he say anything?"

"He's really excited to see you."

"H-He knows it's… bad, right?"

"Yeah, he knows."

He nodded, shaking. "So… a-apparently I might not be able to live alone anymore?"

"Yeah. But that just means you'll be staying with me until more things are known."

"B-But they said e-ever..?"

"It's just a theory. For now, they definitely don't want you on your own."

"I.. I don't wanna be on my own either.."

"You won't be," he promised. "Not ever again."

"They… They hurt me, Toni. A lot. Really bad.." The anxiety was coming on again, quickly.

"I know."

"I… I'm sorry if I can't just move on now. I-I know I'm safe with you, but-…"

"What do you mean by move on?"

"Like… not be so affected by it… Y'know.. move on…"

"Lovi, no one is asking you to try and move on," Antonio said softly.

 _But they will_. "I-I'm just saying…"

Antonio knew it would do no good to try arguing with Lovino right now. "Okay. It's okay. You don't need to move on now."

"I-I want to, but–"

Antonio's phone started ringing. The sudden noise frightened Lovino, but he managed to calm down quickly enough.

"Sorry." He answered the phone "Hello?"

"Antonio!" It was Feliciano. "How's he doing?"

"He's good," he promised, taking Lovino's hand for comfort. "Where are you?"

"I just parked the car." He'd made it over in half the expected time. When he got the news his brother was found he took the very next flight to London, and drove north well over the speed limit. "I'm walking toward the emergency room."

"He was moved up to the ICU last night. Ask the receptionist for a room pass."

Feliciano froze momentarily. "He- He's in the ICU?"

"They wanna keep an eye on him."

"But he's doing fine?"

"Yes he's-... he's awake and everything!"

"A-Awake is great, but that doesn't mean, um-.." He cut himself off, shaking off fear of what his brother had been through. "O-Okay! I'll be up in a few minutes."

"Okay." He hung up. "Feli will be here in a few minutes."

He nodded, shaking.

He held your hand

"I'm… I'm tired…"

Antonio was worried by how Lovino could only seem to stay awake for an hour or two at a time, but knew rest would help him heal more quickly. "You can sleep if you want too. Feli won't mind I'm sure."

"He's coming all the way to see me…"

"And I will bet you a bunch of money that he will still be here when you wake up."

"He.. He doesn't have to stay. He didn't even have to come.."

"He wants to be here Lovi. He's your brother."

"I know.."

He kissed his hand.

A sudden wave of fear came over Lovino. This could still all be a dream. He'd wake up again and Antonio and Feliciano wouldn't be there. He may never see them again. He squeezed Antonio's hand as tight as he could manage. "Don't- Don't leave me alone."

"Never ever," he promised. "Ever."

"I-I-…"

"Yes?" He asked softly

"What happened to them, Toni?" he asked instead, eyes wide and frightened.

"What happened to who?"

"The- The people who took me…" He was shaking all over and starting to breathe faster.

Antonio was hoping they wouldn't have to discuss this so soon, but maybe the closure would give Lovino some peace of mind. "They're gone Lovi. They'll never touch you again."

"What- What do you mean gone?"

"They're dead."

"They're… They're dead?"

"Yeah," he said softly, squeezing his hand.

"So… they'll never pay for what they did?"

"They paid. Trust me."

"They didn't."

"How so?"

"They didn't live to see their crimes come out into the open, for the world to see. They didn't have to face their- their v-victim–…" He was cut off by a loud sob.

Antonio had never believed that it was worth it to keep the sorry sons of bitches alive long enough to see the inside of a jail cell. They were better off dead. But at the same time this wasn't about what he believed. "Oh Lovi… I'm sorry." He took your other hand too.

"Dead people don't care that they're dead! They- They got to die doing exactly what they wanted, with no consequences! They- They what? Died within a few minutes? While I died for months at their hands?"

Antonio nodded "I know. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"They- They never have to face what they did. I don't know if they ever did the same to anyone else, there was no one else when I was there, but that doesn't mean anything. But they BROKE at least ONE person. And got away with it." He was honestly breaking down, barely getting the words out.

Antonio tried to hold him, but was shoved off, and an IV drip was yanked from Lovino's arm. Antonio sat back in the chair and let him calm down a bit before he could do anything. Lovino was shaking and sobbing, curling in on himself and nearly pulling his hair out, and the sight broke Antonio's heart.

A passing nurse came in to check on him. "What happened?" she asked carefully, directed to Antonio considering the patient's current state. She hushed Lovino as she pushed the drip back into his arm.

"He just got upset," he said, almost too quietly to be heard over his fiance's painful wails.

She very gently checked his physical status and nodded slightly. "I'll leave you alone for now. If anything happens, the call button is right there next to the bed. If he doesn't calm down in a few minutes, please press the button."

Antonio nodded, starting to regret how the interrogation had ended.

Just as she was leaving, Feliciano appeared in the doorway. He was about to rush right in and hug his brother tight, but saw what was going on inside and managed to stop himself. The first time he'd seen his brother in several months, and he was crying like this. It honestly broke his heart all over again.

Antonio looked up and saw him there. "Ah… Lovi. Hey. Lovi." He gently touched his arm. "Lovi, please calm down, Feli's here."

"I-I'm sorry, I can't…" He was trying -dear God, he was trying.

Antonio rubbed his back, thankful to not be pushed off this time. "Hey… Take a deep breath. I'll do it with you even, can you do it?"

He couldn't choke out an answer, and had to just shake his head against Antonio's shoulder.

"I… I can come back later…" the younger brother offered, awkwardly trying to gauge whether or not his mere being there would make the situation worse. Though their relationship had been improving prior to all this, the two still had several issues to work out, and Feliciano being there might make Lovino feel even worse. He realized with a pang of guilt he selfishly hadn't given much thought to whether his big brother would want him there.

"Yeah… Sorry." He hit the nurse call button.

Feliciano bit his lip and nodded. "I'll wait downstairs." He smiled a little for Antonio's sake, and left just as a nurse -a different one- came in.

"He won't calm down," he said softly.

"Sir? I'm going to put a sedative in your IV bag, is that okay?"

He couldn't answer. He felt like he was drowning.

The nurse, in good faith, went ahead and administered the sedative. Lovino was asleep ten minutes later. But this sleep didn't last long.


	3. Chapter 3

When he woke up, Feliciano was in Antonio’s usual position.

 

“T-Toni…?” Lovino mumbled before managing to open his eyes.

 

Feliciano smiled softly, relieved to see Lovino was awake again. “I made him go home and take a shower.”

 

Lovino opened his eyes wide then, barely recognizing the voice until he saw his brother sitting there. “He- He promised he wouldn’t leave me alone. He promised!”

 

“He didn’t. He really didn’t. He’ll be back in 5 minutes, promise.”

 

“H-He promised…”

 

“I know.” He touched his arm gently. “I’m glad you’re okay though.”

 

“I-I am?” He sounded genuinely confused by the idea of being okay.

 

“You’re alive, aren’t you?”

 

He shook his head, tears building in his eyes again.

 

“Lovi?” 

 

“I die every time I close my eyes and I’m not sure supposedly being alive when I open them again is enough to say I’m okay.”

 

Feliciano flinched and swallowed hard. “I’m sorry it happened to you.” He said quietly. “It feels like all the bad stuff happens to you.”

 

That wasn’t true, and they both knew it. Right?

 

“I wish I could take your pain from you at least this once.” He said softly

 

“I wouldn’t wish this on you. Ever. Even- Even a fraction of it..”

 

“I just wish it didn’t happen. I’ve spent four months waking up and not opening my eyes, praying that when I do they’ll be a new message on my phone and this was all a dream.” He looked down “I missed you. I missed my big brother.”

 

“I-I missed you too… I…” He didn’t want to admit to his little brother how fucking scared he’d been every second he was there. It was worse than Feliciano could probably imagine.

 

Feliciano sighed and rubbed his eyes a little.

 

“What’s wrong..?”

 

“I’m worried about you.” 

 

The door opened. Antonio’s hair was still wet and sticking to his head. He was panting like he ran the whole way there, and the tee shirt he was wearing was see-through damp and on inside out. He came over and sat on the other side of Lovino’s bed. “… Hi.” He huffed, smiling at him. 

 

Lovino reached for his hand and squeezed a little in response. “Hey..” He was still pretty shaken from waking up to Antonio not being there, but it was somewhat calming to have him back now.

 

Fortunately Antonio had gotten a hotel close to the hospital. He quickly looked him over, kissing his hand.

 

Lovino looked briefly between his fiance and his brother.

 

Feliciano hummed and smiled softly, watching them.

 

“What- What’s gonna happen now?”

 

“You’re going to get better. We’re going to help you get better,” Feliciano said. 

 

“No matter how long it takes,” Antonio added. “And even if you don’t, we’ll still be here.” 

 

Lovino nodded and closed his eyes, but horrible images flashed behind his eyelids and he let out a pained scream.

 

“Hey hey hey….” Antonio squeezed his hand. “It’s okay, you’re safe.”

 

“I-… I can’t breathe…”

 

“Should I call the nurse again?” Antonio asked

 

He choked a little and nodded.

 

Antonio pressed the button and a nurse was in there quickly. She called in a doctor, and they intervened, and put Lovino back to sleep.

 

Feliciano remained sitting there, face pale and wet with tears.

 

Antonio bowed his head, holding Lovino’s hand tightly. He wished he could fix everything. He wished he had gotten there sooner. 

 

“I…” The little brother’s voice was hoarse. “I knew it would be bad, but…”

 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

 

“Huh?… Oh, no, you don’t need to be sorry…”

 

“Yes I do. I am. I should have found him sooner….”

 

“You worked harder than anyone to find him… I-I should be thanking you.”

 

“I can’t fix him. I’m scared Feliciano. It’s been so long since I’ve been this scared.”

 

“I-I know.” He paused a minute, then forced a small, shaky smile. “I know I get scared a lot, but this…” He sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair. “I’m here for you, too. I know this isn’t… easy. Trust me.”

 

He sighed, looking down. He kissed Lovino’s cheek.

 

“He… He can’t go back to living in that apartment all by himself. I mean, there’s Dora, but..”

 

“He’s going to live with me,” Antonio interrupted. “He’s not going back to that apartment. Not for a business trip or anything.” 

 

“I-I can go on handling things…” It wasn’t easy, and he was always tired these days. He’d hoped the worrying too could end now that his big brother was found alive. “I’ll send his stuff to you..”

 

He nodded. “I’ll take care of him.”

 

“Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. There are people specifically trained to… deal with these things. What he needs from you is support.”

 

“He has it. For all eternity.”

 

“I know that. And I think he knows that too.”

 

“I hope he does. I want him to know I love him and that I’ll never leave him,” he whispered.

 

“I hope he does, at least… He…”

 

Antonio was silent, looking down.

 

“He’s my big brother. I’ve.. never seen him like that before..”

 

“I know…”

 

“How was he when you found him?”

 

“Bad. He thought I was a hallcuination or a trick.” 

 

Feliciano squeezed his eyes shut and went silent for a minute. “And… physically?”

 

“Pretty good. Bleeding a bit. Starved.”

 

“That- That’s it?” 

 

“I think it was mostly mental torture… Or he’d healed from the last time they’d beaten him.”

 

“If he was bleeding and starved when you found him, I don’t think it was just that..” He looked down, biting his lip. He’d already gotten some news from the doctors working on his brother. He wondered whether he should tell Antonio.

 

He sighed and looked down “I don’t know.”

 

“I.. I know a little..”

 

He looked up at him.

 

He sniffled. “He, um… u-underwent medical torture as part of the physical torture..”

 

“… Oh…” He looked at Lovino. He vaguely remembered him mentioned something like that, but it really hit him now. “Oh Lovi…”

 

“They- They’re surprised he survived it.. He’s missing a few organs.”

 

"W-What?"

 

"He's missing a lung and a kidney and half his liver."

 

He bowed his head, looking down “this is my fault.”

 

“It’s not. It’s really not, don’t say that..”

 

“It is. I should’ve--...” He bit his lip, trying not to cry. He pressed a kiss to his beloved’s hand again “And I’m scared that this is a dream, that he’s not really here and he’s going through this still.” 

 

“He’s really here. He’s safe now and with you, and he’s going back home. It’s not gonna be easy but things will get better.”

 

“I don’t need easy.”

 

“Then you have nothing to worry about, on your end..”

 

“I’m worried about him.”

 

“I know, but he’ll be okay, cuz he has you.. I mean, it’s not gonna be like it was before, ever, but it’s not gonna always be like this, either..”

 

He nodded.

 

Lovino started to stir a little.

 

He kept holding his hand, kissing the knuckles every now and then.

 

“Another thing before he wakes up.. His legs don’t work anymore.”

 

“That I did hear.” Antonio said

 

“Okay. That’s all I know..”

 

Antonio sighed and ran a tired hand through his damp hair.

 

“It’ll be a long time before he can go home.”

 

“I know.”

 

“What are you planning on doing?”

 

“Staying.”

 

“They’ll make you leave when visitor hours are over.”

 

“Even if they do, I’ll come right back when they open again.”

 

“Okay… What about when he gets released?”

 

“I’m going to still stay with him.”

 

“But what’re you gonna do?”

 

“Take care of him. What else?”

 

“How, though? How do you plan to take care of him?” He wasn’t meaning for it to sound like an interrogation, but he needed to make sure his big brother would be well cared for.

 

“I’ll be and do whatever he needs. I’ll figure it out.”

 

“He… He’s gonna need more than just you around.”

 

“I’ll give him whatever he needs.” 

 

“What are you expecting?” He was starting to tear up.

 

“I don’t know Feli.”

 

“What… What care do you plan on getting for him?”

 

“Whatever he needs.” He said again “I’ll do whatever it takes. I’ll move to the moon if it helps him Feliciano.”

 

“That’s an empty promise..”

 

“How so?” he asked, getting more than a little defensive.

 

“Because you know you’ll never have to go to the moon to help him.”

 

“I’m exaggerating. My point is, anything. Anything Feli, swear.”

 

“It’s… not gonna be cheap. Or easy.”

 

“Don’t care. Haven’t I made that clear yet?”

 

“You seem willing to do it, but you don’t seem to have a plan..”

 

“I don’t know what he’ll need yet, so I can’t make a plan,” he said softly. 

 

“When do you plan to talk to the doctors and start coming up with one?”

 

“At my first opprotunity.”

 

“He’s asleep.”

 

He sighed softly and nodded “I’ll be right back.”

 

“Take your time, I’ll be here.”

 

He nodded and left the room.

 

The nurse who had sedated Lovino stood down the hall, examining a chart. She set it down as he approached. “Yes, how can I help you?”

 

“My fiance. Lovino Vargas. How much do you know about his case?”

 

“Only what his chart says. Why?”

 

“I… I know he isn’t going to be able to leave for a while. But when he does I want to have a plan in place of how I’m going to care for him. I need to know what he’s going to need…”

 

“I can call the primary physician assigned to his case. He should be able to speak with you as soon as an hour from now.”

 

He nodded. “Thank you very much, ma'am.”

 

She nodded and smiled for him, and picked up the phone to call.

  
He sighed and returned to the room. Feliciano was standning next to the IV drip, and when he turned around to him come back into the room, Antonio saw that he was holding a syringe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this far! Please remember to comment! :) -LK


	4. Chapter 4

Antonio saw red. “What is that?” When he got no response from the startled young Nation, he demanded louder, “WHAT IS THAT?”

 

Feliciano looked between his sleeping brother and his brother’s livid fiance. He grabbed Antonio by the arm and pulled him out into the hallway.

 

“What the fuck were you doing?” Antonio tried not to use that kind of language, but he could barely contain his fury. What right to Feliciano have to intervene and then keep the nature of his intervention from the person who professed to love Lovino more than anyone?

 

When Feliciano did answer, it was with hot tears in his eyes. “He’s not a Nation anymore.”

 

"What... What the hell are you talking about, of course he's a Nation!" They weren't supposed to speak so freely about this, and only barely remembered to reel that kind of talk in.

 

“When-… When Lovino had been missing for a few weeks, my bosses started considering just letting me take the entirety of the country. I didn’t want that, I wanted them to help us find my brother. But that’s when it started. And- just the other day, when he was found and I told them so, they hadn’t changed their minds. They–" He took a moment to wipe at his eyes. "They said that he would be too damaged to be of any.. use.. and- and I needed to.. g-get rid of him myself." 

 

Antonio felt his heart stop for a moment.

 

Feliciano wiped his eyes again, needing a moment to breathe. "I got down on my knees and begged, pleaded not to have to kill my own brother. Finally they agreed but decided that as a Nation stripped of his status he could no longer keep his immortality, and… in order to take over, I needed to strip him of it myself." 

 

He took a vial from his pocket. It was empty. "That was in the syringe. And now it's in him."

 

Antonio just stared at him, eyes wide. “Oh my god. I could lose him.” He started to break for the first time, tears forming in his eyes. “Oh my god. Oh my god-” 

 

The man opposite him was sobbing openly at the same possibility.

 

He just stood there, crying.

 

“He-… He probably won’t- won’t die here..”

 

He sobbed into his hand.

 

“This is.. why I need to make sure he’s gonna be well taken care of. If I can’t bring him home to stay with me..”

 

He just kept crying.

 

“Toni, he needs you.”

 

He took a deep breath, then nods. Pulling himself together. He wiped his eyes.

 

“I’ll leave if you want me to. I-… I wouldn’t blame you for hating me..”

 

“I don’t…” He sighed, unsure if he really believed what he was about to say. “I don’t hate you. I’m scared. Scared as hell” 

 

“I know. Me too..”

 

He looked down.

 

“You.. You should check on him..”

 

He nodded and shoved past Feliciano to go inside.

 

Lovino was still asleep, but looking paler and somehow smaller than before.

 

Antonio kissed his cheek “… You might not be able to hear me. I love you. Lovino, Romano… South Italy or no. I love you. I’m in love with you. Madly in love with you. I want stay with you for as long as you live. I love you. Forever.”

 

There was no response, just fast, wispy breathing.

 

He kissed his forehead.

 

“Nn…”

 

He looked down at him.

 

“’N-.. ton–…”

 

“Yes?”

 

“No more…” He was talking in his sleep.

 

He nodded “… No more…” 

 

“Please don’t…” The beeping on the heart monitor was speeding up.

 

“Lovi. Lovi wake up it’s just a bad dream.” He started to shake him gently.

 

“St-Stop, that hurts!” He wasn’t waking up.

 

“Lovi. You have to wake up it’s just a dream!”

 

“Aah! Aah, stop!”

 

With a sigh, he hit the button again.

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

“He’s having a nightmare. I can’t wake him up.”

 

She also tried to wake him up but he only screamed louder.

 

Antonio was at a loss of what to do.

 

“T-Toni, help!”

 

“I’m right here.” He said softly “Lovi, I can’t help you if you don’t wake up.” He was close to his ear, so Lovino should have heard him. He kissed Lovino softly on the lips. “Come on. Please, darling?”

 

Lovino finally started to blink his eyes open, and the nightmare over, his vitals started to improve. “T-Toni…”

 

“Right here.” He took his hand “I always will be.”

 

He latched onto Antonio’s arm, eyes pleading with him not to go.

 

“I’m not going anywhere.” He promised, kissing his forehead

 

“You- You promise?”

 

“Swear it.”

  
He nuzzled his fiance’s arm, holding on tight. As he tried to fall back asleep to quieter dreams, he tried to believe Antonio would still be there when he woke up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, thank you for reading!
> 
> The next chapter potentially skips ahead a couple of weeks, to when Lovino is released from the hospital. But I was wondering if I should include more stuff while he's still there?
> 
> Please remember to comment! :)


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